Best Husband Ever Award Goes to Nate

Last night I was feeling a little down and having a bit of a pity party for myself. See, when I was pregnant (and if I'm truthful right after Nate and I got married) I gained a bit of weight. And by a bit I mean a lot. Suddenly living with a boy and his eating habits (Nate and I didn't live together before we got married), combined with the fun of dining out, meant that I gained 10 or so pounds right after we got married. I think a lot of it was due to the unconscious action of filling my plate as full as Nate's and then eating it all when previously I'd either been super conscious of what I was eating to keep my figure during dating and then before the wedding to fit into my dress.

Then we found out in June (after we were married) that we were expecting. Yeah! The first trimester was such that I felt nauseous all the time. I never really threw up (only a handful of times) but I felt like I wanted to morning to night until about 15 weeks. So when it came to food I pretty much ate what my stomach would let me. This meant a lot of cereal and protein but very, very little vegetables. As in I could stomach raw red peppers. That was it. Second trimester I felt great again and started to savor the foods that I hadn't previously been eating. Third trimester was all about stress eating as the job I was working at at that time was in year end mode, which is stressful in itself, but I was also dealing with new job duties, a co-worker leaving unexpectedly and her workload becoming mine, then returning again unexpectedly and having to re-divy up the workload, and finally trying to wrap my head around not returning to work as that's pretty much what Nate and I had decided I would do after the baby was born. Next came Abby's early delivery (went in for a 38 week checkup and was sent to the hospital - ended up leaving hours later as I wasn't willing to induce, and returned the next day to naturally have Abby) and a level of exhaustion that I've never felt. All of these things combined into a third and fourth (as they call the first few months of baby's life) trimester of eating, eating, eating. (Yes, I'm getting to the point of this post soon.)

After having Abby I knew that I needed to wait 6 weeks to start working out again and once those 6 weeks had past I did start up slowly and start to focus on eating healthy more. But for every one step I took it seemed like eventually I took two steps back. Basically, I delivered Abby at a weight of 209.5 (and man did I look it!) and have been stuck at 175 for a few months now. (I can't believe I'm putting actual numbers out there! Ack! But it's needed for this post to fully express how awesome Nate is.) Yes, I've already lost 35 pounds, which is great and is basically the 'good' Abby pregnancy weight I gained. So now I'm looking at wanting to lose the extra weight I gained during pregnancy as well as post-wedding weight which comes to another 30-35 pounds. (I weighed 145 at the wedding and felt DAMN HOT! to give you an idea of what I look like at a certain weight.)

This week we both started a diet to help combat the extra 'love' that we've added on, particularly in these past few months due to additional stress with Nate studying for his PE. We're eating better than we have before and we're already seeing weight-loss results. But (and now we're back to the point of my post) last night I was just having a rough night. Basically, I was feeling like I wasn't the pretty girl that Nate had dated and married and if we passed each other on the street today (me overweight, sans makeup, too casual clothes, and hair always in a ponytail/bun) he wouldn't give me a second look. And I WANT to look and feel like an asset to him as opposed to 'why did this awesome guy marry her?'. Nate kept trying to tell me that we've both gained weight and that he knows it'll come off, it'll just take time but that wasn't getting through to me.

Finally, he pulled out the big guns. My wonderful husband pointed to our daughter and said "You gave me her. You are the only woman who will EVER give me my first child. It seems like your comments are surrounding the point that you're afraid I'll leave you because of how you look different now. I will never leave you because from you I got her. You're stuck with me forever. I love you and that will never change." (Oh, how I wish I could do justice to his words in the retelling!) He then asked if I wanted something to make me feel better. I replied sure thinking I'd get a back scratching, a big hug, or maybe a really romantic kiss. Boy, was I wrong! My wonderful husband pulled out a jewelry box and said "Thank you for being my wife." When I opened that box I found the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings. Words cannot even describe what I felt. It wasn't overwhelming joy at the fact that I had diamond earrings (although, they were really, really awesome). It was the fact that my husband, who was planning on giving me these earrings during our upcoming trip to Florida but decided now was a more perfect time, valued me so much, particularly with all the help that I'd given him during his studying for the PE exam, that he wanted to express that appreciation in a way that would completely overwhelm me. Nate knows that I've always wanted diamond earrings but have always said later or not now because they are so many other worthy things to buy with what they cost. For him to remember this, then find the right time to buy them, as well as keeping this a complete secret from me just shows how much he loves and cherishes me. Added to this act the words that he spoke that were so full of his feelings for me without holding anything back and I received a priceless gift that I will never forget. I only hope that I can someday express how much I love, respect, honor, and value him with as much power as he demonstrated his love, cherish, and respect he has for me.